I have the pleasure of being able to work with people who are enthusiastic and so ready to make changes. They come to me with a “just say the magic word” mentality. I wish for them that it was that easy, I wish all of the standard motivational crap worked for longer than its initial short-lived high, I really do. I also wish this enthusiasm remained when I do say the magic word… Inner-child.
Everyone knows that if the foundation is ignored the house will collapse. I have people giving me their plans for castles but their landscape is a marsh. I’m not going to waste anyone’s time. Not yours, not mine. We have to do some irrigating, and we gotta find that kid in there that you blamed for all your problems. The kid that you forgot about while seeking the approval of others.
This can sound easy enough, what’s the big deal? You say you find your kid self and indulge in some fruity pebbles and watch some cartoons, just play some games with friends, or play with some actual kids right? No biggie! Egh, once again… I wish this was easy.
I am going to ask you to play a game, a very real game. A game of characters and past scenarios in your own mind. You are going to meet every character and archetype you have ever been and ask for their help and forgiveness, from you, as you are now. This game doesn’t end after a 15 minutes self session though. You need to guarantee yourselves a new life of magical thinking.
Rule #1 Do not underestimate this kid. This kid is a gangster. This kid has the power to sabotage every attempt you make at self-betterment, and it totally will. But why?
There is no day that we just grow up, not physically, not mentally, no matter what may have happened to you. There is a day(many days)though, that we reject our child-like wonder and demonize it. We try to trade it in for cynicism and facts to look more adult, more cool, more powerful. This act is so disruptive to our psyche. It’s like life persuades us to take a big s*** on God’s child. We then spend the rest of our lives stinking up the place if we don’t decide to clean them up and apologize. This kid has been abused by the cold harsh world, but mostly by you.
So I’m sure this sounds abstract or just plain ridiculous, but emotions don’t lie. I just say the word inner-child and I get a fight or flight response from most people. That tells me they have one pissed off kid. The clients that refuse to go near it(which they do), are the least successful. They don’t just refuse, they tell me how uncomfortable that makes them feel. They have no problem addressing traumas from childhood and how people treated them, but when it comes to how that kid feels and embracing them… they won’t touch it. This is because this kid can get over the abuse and forgive others more easily than you can. They just have a hard time accepting all self-hate and abuse you have made them live with.
The clients that regain these kids trust so much so that they know they won’t be abandoned again are the most successful.
If you can gain the trust of your inner-child, and have them help you and work with you tandem in your life and decision making… You two can have the world. They just want to know they are included, and that they are trusted.
If this speaks out to you at all and you find you need some help getting to that magical point where the child of your heart and that adult of your mind will live in harmony, by popular demand I am now providing a service to help individuals integrate this. See Inner Child Integration and Contact if you have any questions.
If you have traumas and betrayals from childhood that still cause a great deal of pain we can work that through cognomovement and this can help you prosses the emotions of the past, no matter how severe.
In order to move forward, you need all of you to take one step.
With love and understanding,