How on Earth could removing blame from your reasoning ever empower you? Why would we abandon the reasons that cause our current state of wellbeing? Let’s take a look at societal blame, how it has been serving us lately and then see if we can apply it to our own personal circumstances.
Empowerment has been trending for at least a century now and it has been localized into certain genders, certain communities, and certain beliefs. Groups of people are standing against thousands of years of abuse and inequality. People have made great strides in understanding each other, and equality has become the new global epidemic. Somehow this is easily forgotten the second any type of media gets ahold of active prejudice. This isn’t necessarily bad by any means as it demands accountability, but it leaves viewers believing that whatever hateful attitudes and actions are still rampant because they saw it on their own screen within their own home almost every day.
It is easy to not consider the major decline in hateful acts and how far we have come and where we are going when you still see instances of abuse all the time. When we do see these things many people will reinstate a battlefront position for themselves and wage war on the instance by making it as known as possible that something bad happened somewhere and sharing the knowledge with everyone. We have all done it, we all take the bait and go and make our opinions and opposition known and exploit the problem while we are at it. Again, accountability can be a great thing and we have the platforms to make it happen, but there is a difference between education, productive activism and saying you hate the same public figures 500+ times.
So this is how we view empowerment lately, a state of opposition. We try to disempower the opposing side and wind up also disempowering ourselves in the process. We decide “I will not be happy until this bill is passed, or until I never hear about these acts happening again and I have confirmation that they never will happen again.” As we blame the world around us for our state of being, we decide that how we feel is the worlds responsibility, and not our own. People feeling this way on a global scale leads to a lot of disempowered people for the future generations to look up to. It is okay to want change, but constantly bringing attention to already fading issues keeps them alive in peoples fears. The world is a much safer place than we are led to believe and it is about time we left our homes actually feeling this way.
So let’s apply this more personally, let’s say you were bullied and your home life wasn’t perfection, now you are an adult and you are bitter and have trust issues or low self-esteem. You wish you could be happier and live in the moment more but your past looms over your head and keeps you from remaining happy. This is the result of constantly reminding yourself that someone ruined something for you. The past tense ruined doesn’t even define the current ruining taking place. We blame them over and over again with the same emotions that struck us then and have us crippled now. We now have our reasons to be untrusting, and unhappy. This is usually how the story ends, that is that and it is coming to the grave with me. Pretty disempowering, right? So how do you take your power back? Do you attempt the impossible by becoming a doormat pretending you’re okay with everyone and everything and hope you don’t form a tumor somewhere while still aging pretty?
We don’t swallow the emotions we have, but we do swallow our pride if we are willing to get through these emotions and process them in a healthy manner. We take back our power by owning our decision to continue to feel this way. Say it to yourself.. “I choose to continue to feel this way.” Now the ball is in your court, and you can process what is yours. To process deep-seated emotions like these you do have to sit uncomfortably through them asking yourself why it still affects and how it all began. When you get through that it might help to fill in your empty sense of defeat by reaffirming something positive about yourself or your potential, or your newfound freedom in letting go of the past.
To apply this then to our current affairs in the world and not allow unwanted circumstances to disempower you and your day, consider changing your phrasing. To have things be “unwanted” or to “need” change is, in fact, demanding especially when we know that behind the scenes things are in fact changing for the better. So in these times, I suggest using the word “prefer.” e.g. “I would prefer if ______ would no longer be an issue.” Try it out and see if it leaves you feeling a little less heated.
This article contains excerpts from the book The Inner Critic written by Casey Marlin (Coming Soon)
Letting go of the past isn’t easy, and sometimes we feel we just don’t have time to process everything and leave it for a future date again and again. Luckily there are new effective ways to quickly process our mental barriers. Try a new way of processing your emotions with the groundbreaking techniques at cognomovement.com
Give your inner peace a chance.